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Accepting Change

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Accepting Change
By Cherie Carter-Scott, Ph.D., MCC

We have more Change Today than Ever before on Earth!
_Technology
_Communication
_Transportation
_Speed of life

You may be in three places when you confront this reality. They are:
1. This is exciting. I can’t wait. Let’s anticipate the change and meet it before it happens.
2. We’ll deal with it when it happens. We’ll do what we need to do.
3. Hey I just work here. I’ll show up, do what I have to, but I won’t be here that long, so I’ll do the minimum to get by.
There are two types of Change: Extrinsic and intrinsic.
We have a fair amount of control over the intrinsic changes because they are controlled by us.

Most of the change we are addressing is Extrinsic change.
The key questions to address are:
1. What are your feelings about this situation?
2. What do you want regarding this change?
3. What do you want to do to address your feelings and wants?

When change happens to you, you feel like a victim.
Choice is the operative word.
The real challenge is to make the shift from victim to author.
The challenge is how to become at choice with extrinsic change, a situation which you didn’t choose and which brings up fear of unableness.

Whether the transition involved Copernicus and Galileo and the debate of sum revolving around the Earth or Earth revolving around the sun. The wright Brothers at Kitty Hawk, or The Berlin Wall coming down, almost unanimously people responded, “No, it can’t happen.”
When I am stretched in my next challenge, I immediately think “I can’t”

When life makes more demands on you than you feel you can comfortably handle, when you are stretched outside of your comfort zone, when your feeling of ableness is sufficiently challenged, you are at risk of becoming infected with the Negaholic virus.

Feelings are the bridge between how things were and how things might be.
You can’t see the vision when feelings are blocking the road ahead. Feelings cloud the issue disorienting you from your true motivation.

When there is no permission to express your feelings, you must rely on your reason; when you can’t make sense out of the situation you get stuck in a tape loop; you become attached to things as they are because blocked feelings deplete motivation. Inertia, apathy and resistance happen when people feel victimized.
If you are going to make the shift from “Problem” to “Solution” you need to consider four key things.

You first have to want it…so desire is the first and most important. Second, you have to be willing to do whatever is needed and wanted.
Third, you must believe it is possible. This is where most people fall down and become derailed. They want it and are willing, but they don’t really believe it is possible. Of course without belief, commitment is negligible. How can you be committed to something you don’t believe is possible?

The real challenge is to turn extrinsic change into intrinsic reality.

Reframing reality means that you need to be able to see something positive about the situation. It means that you consciously look for the good news. It means that you focus on what could be a gift rather than on why this is not what you wanted to happen.

Herodotus said in the 4th century BC: “Nothing is permanent but change.”